High-Functioning Depression: When You Say You’re "Fine" but Inside You Know You're Not
High-Functioning Depression: When You Say You’re "Fine" but Inside You Know You're Not
At Montgomery + Evelyn, we believe emotional wellness deserves as much care and curiosity as physical health. That’s why we’re shining a light on something many quietly live with: high-functioning depression.
This form of depression doesn’t always look like the stereotypes. You’re not lying in bed for days. You’re getting things done - work, emails, errands. You might even be praised for how productive or "together" you seem. But underneath, there’s a chronic sense of emotional flatness, self-criticism, or sadness that doesn’t match your outward life.
There have been many conversations about this recently on wellness podcasts, in therapy circles, and with our own community. It’s time we talked more openly about this hidden experience, and shared tools for healing.
What Is High-Functioning Depression?
Also known as Persistent Depressive Disorder (or dysthymia), high-functioning depression is a chronic, lower-grade form of depression that can linger for years. It’s sneaky because people living with it often continue to “function” well in society.
They show up, smile, tick off to-do lists. But internally, there may have:
* A constant low mood or heaviness
* Difficulty experiencing joy
* Feeling emotionally disconnected or numb
* A harsh inner critic
* Difficulty relaxing or sleeping
* A sense of “going through the motions”
* Fatigue that isn’t solved by rest
* Constant feeling of wearing a mask
Because it’s not always visible, it often goes unacknowledged. Even by the person experiencing it. It’s become your normal. Just “how things are”.
But you don’t have to go on feeling like this.
A Serotonin-First Approach
Serotonin is one of the key neurotransmitters involved in mood regulation, and many people with dysthymia show signs of underactive serotonin function. But it’s not just about brain chemistry. The body and mind are deeply interlinked and the way we eat, move, think, and live can either support or suppress serotonin levels.
Here are some natural ways to gently nudge serotonin back into flow:
1. Nutrition for Neurobalance
Nutritional psychiatry has shown us that certain nutrients are foundational for mood:
* L-tryptophan + 5HTP: amino acids that are the precursors to serotonin.
* Magnesium: Helps regulate stress responses and supports neurotransmitter function.
* Vitamin B12 + B9 + B6: Essential for converting tryptophan into serotonin.
* Vitamin D3: Plays a key role in regulating mood, circadian rhythm, and immune function. Deficiencies in vitamin D are closely linked to seasonal and persistent low mood, especially in climates with limited sun exposure.
* Probiotics: 90% of serotonin is made in the gut. A healthy microbiome is essential.
If you spend most of your time indoors, feel tired despite rest, or notice frequent low mood in winter, it’s worth checking your vitamin D3 levels. We often recommend supplementing with a high-quality vitamin D3 + K2 formula to enhance absorption and avoid calcium imbalance.
Methylation & B Vitamins: Why Some People Struggle
For some, even a nutrient-rich diet isn’t enough. If you’ve ever taken B vitamins and felt anxious, jittery, or noticed no change at all, methylation could be the missing piece.
Methylation is a biochemical process your body uses to detox, repair DNA, and produce neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine. Some people, especially those with variations in the MTHFR gene, have a reduced ability to convert common forms of B vitamins into their active, usable forms.
This can result in:
* Fatigue, brain fog, or irritability
* Poor response to standard B-complex supplements
* Low resilience to stress
* Persistent flat mood
To support methylation and mood, we use methylated B vitamins (like methylfolate and methylcobalamin) in Happy Me. These bioavailable forms bypass the bottlenecks, meaning your body can absorb and use them right away - gently and effectively.
Vitamin B12 plays a quiet but essential role in supporting normal psychological function, including memory, focus, mood regulation, and energy metabolism.
It's involved in the production of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, and in maintaining healthy nerve cells and brain tissue.
Low levels of B12, especially common in those with digestive issues, plant-based diets, or certain genetic variations, can contribute to symptoms that mimic or worsen high-functioning depression: brain fog, emotional numbness, low mood, and fatigue that doesn’t lift with rest.
By gently restoring optimal B12 levels, particularly in its methylated, bioavailable form, many people experience subtle but powerful shifts in clarity, emotional resilience, and overall cognitive well being.
In Happy Me, we use methylcobalamin, a highly absorbable form of B12, to nourish the mind and gently support those navigating persistent emotional lowlands.
How Vitamin B12 Supports Emotional Wellbeing
* Vitamin B12 supports normal psychological function, including focus, memory, mood balance, and emotional regulation
* It helps produce key neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, which are often imbalanced in low mood states
* B12 plays a role in maintaining healthy nerve cells and brain tissue, supporting cognitive clarity and resilience
* Low levels of B12 can mimic or worsen symptoms of high-functioning depression, including fatigue, brain fog, emotional flatness, and difficulty concentrating
* Deficiencies are more common in those with digestive issues, plant-based diets, or MTHFR gene variations
* Supplementing with methylated B12 (methylcobalamin) - the active, absorbable form - can gently support energy, mood, and mental clarity
* In Happy Me, we use this bioavailable form to offer calm, steady support to the emotional nervous system
The Sunshine Effect
Even 15–20 minutes of morning daylight exposure helps regulate your circadian rhythm, balance cortisol, and increase serotonin. It’s not just a wellness cliché. It’s biology.
Pair this with a short walk and you've just layered in movement, nature, and rhythm all at once.
Psychological Strategies That Make a Difference
Healing from high-functioning depression isn’t about “snapping out of it.” It’s about giving yourself inner permission to feel, rest, and rewire.
1. Challenge Your Inner Drill Sergeant
One trait that often comes with this form of depression is relentless self-pressure. You may feel like you have to earn your rest, your worth, your peace. Begin by gently observing that voice.
* Ask yourself: Would I speak to a friend this way?
* Try rewriting the inner dialogue with compassion: “I’m doing my best. It’s enough for today.”
2. Micro-Moments of Joy
When flatness becomes the norm, the nervous system often needs small, consistent reminders that joy is allowed.
3. Create tiny rituals:
* Light a candle before emails
* Pause for a deep breath with your tea
* Keep a 3-line “things that felt good today” journal
These acts might seem minor, but they signal safety and connection to your brain.
4. The Two-Sentence Gratitude Reset
Try a daily reminder to rewire your brain:
“Today, one thing I appreciated was ______. One thing I did well was ______.”
Simple. Repeatable. Rewiring.
If joy or gratitude feel out of reach, which is often the case in high-functioning depression, there are softer, more accessible practices that support nervous system healing, presence, and emotional reconnection, without demanding forced positivity.
Alternatives to Moments of Joy
Instead of focusing on joy (which can feel too distant or performative), try cultivating neutral or grounding experiences. These don’t have to feel “good”, just safe, steady, or not worse.
1. Moments of Neutral Comfort
* Sitting in a patch of sun or wrapping up in a blanket
* Noticing something ordinary that doesn’t stress you out (e.g. the way your mug feels in your hand)
* Doing something repetitive or rhythmic: folding clothes, walking a familiar path, brushing your hair
Why it helps: These small, stable moments help anchor the nervous system and restore a baseline of “I’m OK right now,” which is essential before joy can re-enter.
2. Micro-Moments of Sensory Presence
* Noticing one texture, colour, or sound around you without judging it
* Washing your hands slowly with a scented handwash and paying attention to the temperature
* Drinking a warm drink with both hands and focusing on the warmth
Why it helps: Sensory focus gently grounds us in the body, offering a break from racing thoughts and emotional overwhelm.
Alternatives to Gratitude Practices
Gratitude is powerful but when you’re feeling emotionally flat or numb, it can feel forced or guilt-inducing. These softer alternatives honour your actual state while still opening a door to self-connection.
1. Moments of Acknowledgement
Instead of "What am I grateful for?" try:
* What got me through today?
* What did I survive today, even if no one noticed?
* What felt even 5% less hard than yesterday?
Why it helps: This validates your effort and resilience without asking you to find silver linings.
2. Self-Witnessing Statements
At the end of the day, try thinking about:
* One thing I noticed about myself today was...
* One thing I needed but didn’t say was...
* One thing I’m holding that no one sees is...
Why it helps: These questions invite gentle self-awareness and emotional truth-telling, which are key to healing high-functioning depression.
3. Permission Slips
Write down one permission you give yourself today. For example:
* Today, I give myself permission to not answer every message.
* Today, I give myself permission to be tired.
* Today, I give myself permission to not “make the most” of the day.
Why it helps: Emotional exhaustion often comes from over-performance. Permission slips are a subtle way to begin unburdening yourself.
It starts with you giving yourself permission. When you are comfortable with this you can start to negotiate new boundaries with other people. It takes acknowledging your own state of mind and worth before you can change how you are around other people.
You’re Not Lazy. You’re Carrying a Lot.
One of the biggest misconceptions around high-functioning depression is that people experiencing it just need to “try harder.” In truth, many are already trying too hard, for too long, without rest or support.
What you need isn’t more pressure. You need nourishment - emotional, psychological, nutritional, and relational.
Daily Habits That Heal
If you're wondering where to start, begin here:
* One serotonin-boosting breakfast per day (think: oats + seeds + Happy Me)
* 5 minutes of light stretching or yoga upon waking
* Sunlight before screens
* Digital sunset 1 hour before bed
* Evening wind-down with magnesium and tryptophan
These rituals are a kindness to your brain. Over time, they rebuild your inner neurotransmitter balance.
Invest in Yourself: Happy Me
At Montgomery + Evelyn, we created Happy Me to support the emotional nervous system through therapeutic dosages of nutrients. It’s not a magic pill but it is a natural happy pill. A foundational daily support to help you navigate emotional lows, high-functioning fatigue, and chronic stress.
With methylated B vitamins, tryptophan, 5HTP, probiotics and more, Happy Me is especially helpful for those with methylation challenges or long-term emotional burnout.
If you’ve been feeling “not quite yourself” for a long time, even if life looks fine on the outside, Happy Me is our offering for your healing.
You deserve to feel like yourself again. And we’re here for the journey.
Explore the gold award winning Happy Me and give your serotonin, and self, a little love.
The emotional toll of hiding one’s struggles and the impact on your mood and energy
Psychological Strategies That Make a Difference
Healing from high-functioning depression isn’t about “snapping out of it.” It’s about creating inner permission to feel, rest, and rewire. A huge part of this is building your self-awareness and courageously making some changes.
Unmasking Gently
Many people with high-functioning depression become experts at masking. Keeping up appearances, staying cheerful, and minimising your struggles so they don’t “burden” others. This may come from childhood patterns, work culture, or internalised beliefs that your pain isn’t “serious enough” to matter.
But masking has a cost. Suppressing how you really feel requires emotional energy often leaving you depleted, anxious, or disconnected from yourself. Over time, this can create a quiet sense of loneliness or invisibility.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Begin with small, safe steps:
* Let one trusted person in on how you’re really doing
* Replace “I’m fine” with something more honest, like “It’s been a full-on week”
* Remind yourself: your feelings are valid, even if they don’t look dramatic
Vulnerability can feel risky, but it's also how we reclaim connection with others. Being seen, truly understood, can be a powerful first step toward healing.
Final Thoughts
High-functioning depression is a quiet struggle. But healing begins when we bring the unspoken into the light. You’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re just overdue for some deeply earned peace.
Let’s choose joy. Gently. Consistently. You and Me together.
References
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2. Young, L.M., et al. (2019). *The role of folate, vitamin B6 and B12 in depression: A systematic review*. Journal of Affective Disorders, 252, 419–429.
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4. O'Leary, F., & Samman, S. (2010). *Vitamin B12 in health and disease*. Nutrients, 2(3), 299–316.
5. Anglin, R.E.S., et al. (2013). *Vitamin D deficiency and depression in adults: Systematic review and meta-analysis*. British Journal of Psychiatry, 202(2), 100–107.
6. Eby, G.A., & Eby, K.L. (2006). *Rapid recovery from major depression using magnesium treatment*. Medical Hypotheses, 67(2), 362–370.
7. Pouteau, E., et al. (2018). *Magnesium and vitamin B6 supplementation reduces stress in healthy adults: A randomized controlled trial*. Nutrients, 10(10), 1390.
8. Murakami, K., & Sasaki, S. (2010). *Dietary intake of folate, vitamin B6, and vitamin B12 and depression: A review of epidemiologic studies*. Nutrition Reviews, 68(10), 556–558.
9. Swardfager, W., et al. (2013). *Zinc in depression: A meta-analysis*. Biological Psychiatry, 74(12), 872–878.
10. Li, Y., et al. (2016). *Fish consumption and depressive symptoms in adults: A meta-analysis*. Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health, 70(3), 299–304.
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